Wednesday, 7 September 2011

A table for 520 please.......

A function for 520 sounds too good to to follow soon...............

Friday, 15 July 2011

Student reply

This is a copy of a letter i got from a student who did a weeks placement in Hells Kitchen..(sounds I got him a Thai prostitute)

Dear Mr Cockcroft

Hi I really enjoy work experience and thank for women J
I should like thank you for allowing me to work for 1 week in your kitchen.
It was most enjoyable experience. I particularly enjoy of make like flapjack, bun, pudding, Service to children.
Thank you for your help especially when cooking and wash up with lady.
Please pass on my thank to you and lady who helped me so much J J J

With best wishes for successful a good summer


Monday, 7 February 2011

Monday, 13 December 2010

Council Tw**s

Did a bit for the Council the other day...its true there idle..
There is one chap who takes the water temperature in the hot taps...
Another who checks it the plugs are safe......
The coffee machine said OUT OF I had a look to see if it was something simple....yes it needed cleaning..they had allready rung the supplier to say it was'nt working...£30.00 call out..
The dish washer was out charge £180.00...?????

Party Time

Last week I did a 21st birthday buffet,i arrived at 3.30 to get the buffet out about 8.30/9.00 ..the toilets were full of party goers snorting coke and smoking skunk....They partied all night till the early hours...hard core you know the score

Top Snacks

Sheeps Head anyone's_head_smalahove

Weddings in Batley

I did 5 weddings in Batley over the summer in a strange Hotel...As the first wedding the happy couple entered the Hotel,I could smell a strong smell of SKUNK wafting around from one of the rooms on the first floor..The hotel manager nocked on the door to find 4 asian lads' bonging on' with eyes as red as the sun....a few days later a prostitute was found giving one of the residents a blow job wearing a berkera....?????.
  I also found 2 asian waiters scoffing choclate cake in the middle af eade......

Sunday, 12 December 2010

Fat yanks

You've gotta laugh....


I dont realy give a shit what people long as its not Tiger penis or endangered Whales and I think Shark fin soup is tragic...but a Vegan who carnt eat anything that has been cooked is going too far...........

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Another day another dollar

A new restaurant needed a hand for the night,so off i went when I got there i was to be on the char grill no problem there I thought.The new Pizza chef sounded like that the guy who won I'm a celebrity get me out of here(instantly annoying)he was full of himself I can do a 100 pizza a night and never get a complaint...yawn..I am the best etc etc.The twat burnt the first 4 pizzas and then dropped 2 on the floor the opening night was average.............

Monday, 14 December 2009

Monday night orders

This week... we have so far 700 booked in including 250 Turkey and 150 beef...Tis the season to be many turkeys is that then.///??????????

Sunday, 13 December 2009

A table for 101 please.....

Tonight we had a table for 101,the new waitress went in throuugh the out door and dropped 10 goats cheese tarts all over the floor....The middle section of the party were so pissed when they got to the main course they had forgoten what they had ordered and the boss was hungry in the afternoon and ate 2 Chocolate mousse and forgot to tell us.all in all a right cock up.

Thursday, 10 December 2009

old Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road.................cos thats where all the Cocks are

Sunday, 6 December 2009

Why are people getting fatter....

One large lady customer last night had 4 starters,1 main course(Turkey and all the trimmings) and 2 puddings(Christmas pud and Chocolate mousse) all washed down with pints of larger and glasses of wine................gross

Quote of the week.

A very complementry female customer was telling me how she had enjoyed the meal on saturday evening, but what she like most of all was HOT BEEF in the morning and how was I fixed for breakfast. ooooo errrrr.